The divorce rate is a new thing though, right? I'd bet that even if it was an arranged marriage, if you knew you weren't going to get divorced, you'd try to find ways to love your partner...
Recognizing domestic violence and spousal rape as outside the bounds of acceptable behavior and/or grounds for redress is also a new development, in the grand scheme of things.
Do you have any evidence do suggest this is actually a leading cause of divorce, as opposed to other things like personality clashes, financial stress, etc.
Everything I've read seems to suggest that incompatible personalities and finances are the main reasons people in our society split up - which would seem to debunk your theory.
Do you seriously think that all the fights and demonstrations to get the right to divorce were mostly because of "incompatible personalities and finances"?
If it's happened so much as once (and I don't think that's controversial), then it's a good thing we let people get divorced instead of telling them they had better find ways to love their partners.
I don't see where the comment you are replying to claims that domestic violence and spousal rape are the leading cause of divorce or even a leading cause.
Large populations expecting or knowing longevity are new. Never forget we count down from Depression hysteresis and post-WW2 50% share of global wealth. We have horrible diet and health statistics here. People are wise to not marry. By way of comparison Japan's population falls faster than their economic deflation.
For most of Western history commoners lived to 28F/32M. Average age rose to around 40 by 1800 in France. I used to work for Futures Group in the early 90's (inherited Robert Tappan Morris's code) spending US taxpayer dollars on global demographic engineering. Human biomass is now way too high. Being fruitful multiplying is not such a great game plan anymore. Adjust lifespan expectations for pathologies we fuel with VAST profitable supply chains consumers only imagine are personal moral failings. We run full court presses against more making of us. I signed no security clearances. These are not really secrets. Maybe security via obscurity was more popular before the Net became popular.