I think Linus's main point is that if he seems happy about something he's actually uncomfortable with, developers can sink a lot of work into something he ultimately doesn't like and doesn't want in the kernel. So the aggressive approach is to stave off that outcome, which is fair. I suspect he also enjoys it - which is also fair enough.
I think with Linus' "my way or the highway", at least some of it comes from early upbringing. His dad ran for president (unsuccessfully) in Finland recently - intelligent, likeable but very opionated guy.
A lot of people actively enjoy and seek conflict.